AutheNick: Roncel Gets To Steppin' Part 2

Episode 3 March 14, 2022 00:43:57
AutheNick: Roncel Gets To Steppin' Part 2
AutheNick
AutheNick: Roncel Gets To Steppin' Part 2

Mar 14 2022 | 00:43:57

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Show Notes

Season 2 Episode 3 In Part 2 of Roncel Gets To Steppin', Roncel shares the hope portion of his life in recovery from addiction. He flies the flag of fearlessness. He sails the ship of solutions. He, probably doesn't need any more metaphors. Roncel's message speaks for itself.   COPYRIGHT FREE MUSIC Upstairs With Cat BY Diamond Ortiz
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hey you. Yeah, you, Speaker 1 00:00:02 If you or someone you know, is struggling with anything mentioned on today's program, please, please, please, Speaker 0 00:00:10 Please, please, please Speaker 1 00:00:12 Email [email protected]. That's a U T H E N I C K. The [email protected]. I am available 24 7 365 to help in any way that I can. I have resources. I have open ears and open heart and tons of hope. I've been freely given all these things and would love to give them to you. Be good to yourselves and each other. Follow me on Twitter, using the handle at authen, Speaker 0 00:00:44 Nick and my Speaker 1 00:00:45 Dog, Marla on Instagram at Speaker 0 00:00:48 DJ Speaker 1 00:00:49 Marla dot Jean. During today's program, you will hear a, a mentioned multiple times, the individual expressing their thoughts and opinions do not reflect AA or Alanon as a whole. Please enjoy I've CC won't let me be your, let me be meat. So let me see. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the artists, whose music I used in season one. So now You get to hear me Speaker 0 00:01:17 Saying Speaker 1 00:01:18 It's going to be real good. Speaker 0 00:01:33 Bye Paul . I am a drug addict to eating disorder. we aim to bring all the stigma to hedges. You have experience Strang and cause this is . Yeah. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the show. Speaker 1 00:03:14 My name is Nicholas Thomas Fitzsimmons Vanda enabled the most people just call me Nick. And this is my show off. Speaker 0 00:03:25 It's like authentic, but I took out the silent Speaker 1 00:03:32 Q anyway, Speaker 0 00:03:34 Here Speaker 1 00:03:35 With me as always is mind Speaker 0 00:03:36 Talk, Marla, Speaker 3 00:03:40 Give me a baby. Speaker 4 00:03:45 The pause of one to hold you and it felt Speaker 1 00:04:01 That's enough Marlin. Okay. Thank you for that beautiful Otis Redding rendition. Anyway, here on authentic, where we get authentic, we talk about all things recovery. Hmm. What do I mean by that? All things recovery. Well, what I mean by that is if you are still living and breathing on this earth, you yes Are in recovery from something. As for myself, I am an alcoholic. Hi, my name Speaker 0 00:04:32 Is . Speaker 1 00:04:34 I am an alcoholic. I'm also a drug addict. I'm a compulsive gambler. I bipolar disorder. I have an eating disorder. Really? The list could go on and on and on. Luckily for you, the show is not about me. I repeat this show is not Speaker 0 00:04:50 About Speaker 1 00:04:50 Me. It is however about two people. First is my guest runs, sell who will share his experience, strength and hope as it pertains to his life in recovery. Second is the one life run. Cell is most certainly going to save by giving his testimony here. We want you to know that you are not alone, no matter what your circumstance, no matter what happened today, yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow, doesn't matter because all we have is today. This episode of Ron cell gets to step in part two, follows up last week's episode, where Ron CEL shared his experience and strength. You are about to hear the H O P E Speaker 0 00:05:41 Hope Speaker 1 00:05:42 Portion of his story, please. Oh, please enjoy. Speaker 0 00:05:47 Well, well, well go back. Speaker 1 00:05:54 We've made it. We did it everyone. Speaker 5 00:05:57 Marla. Good job. Thank you for keeping us safe from bunnies and squirrels. You're so appreciated. And I think you just farted Stank ass ho Speaker 7 00:06:07 Booster by note, Speaker 5 00:06:10 Lord We're back. Hope H O P E my favorite four letter word, Ron sell. What is hope, Speaker 7 00:06:26 Hope. Speaker 6 00:06:29 Um, Speaker 7 00:06:32 Man, I've found hope to be That flicker of light into darkness for myself. Woo. And that man I'm at this stage in my recovery in my life, ALM means a lot. Ah, let's say for instance, you know, we look outside today in the world, what's going on, everything that's happening from a pandemic or however you choose to look at that Two nations at each other's necks, right? Those are dark times. They're dark things. Now, if I'm, to be honest and look back and say what that Ron cell from six years ago, be able to muster through these times, I would immediately say no. Why is that around cell? Well, because that thing that you just said, Nick, hope, hope, You know, it was there just in a different way. Um, I looked at hope with a different perspective, with a different ideal as to what hope is what it means to me at what it looks like. So at this stage of my life in my recovery hope has come to me in a different way. Through the grace of a, a A has equipped me with Tools. I'm trying to use my words here, carefully Nixle, Speaker 7 00:08:23 Um, tools to provide that hope. Why, What I say that? Well, it keeps, it keeps my mind on a sense of clarity to be able to make decisions Speaker 7 00:08:41 That are best for me and those around me. Whereas I thought I was making the best decision six years ago for myself and those around me. I have come to find out that was shit. It was absolute horse shite. Okay. Um, it wasn't true. It was never true. However, today hope comes to me in the sense that I can wake up and I can know that today I am not cold dependent on that bottle. That just as an example of what hope looks like to me in the sense that I'm more hopeful that my decisions will be the best for me and those around me. And I can trust that thought. That's what hope looks like for me today, Nick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 5 00:09:40 Anytime somebody gets clean or sober or abstains from their compulsive behavior that they're using to soothe their pain and fear with relationships, start to improve as a by-product. Yes. I'm going to do a little bit of what w what was it like in, what's it like now you're ready. Um, Relationships, we'll start with kids. What did your relationship with your kids look like before you got sober? Speaker 7 00:10:17 Very different, Speaker 5 00:10:19 Please elaborate. Speaker 7 00:10:20 And I will. And I will, um, before I got sober, I was the dad That was having my daughter, who is my first born, my oldest child bringing me my Wani on my days off. I was the dad, dad, what have my B my fridge full of beer. And my daughter at the age of, let's say two, two, and a half able to walk and functionable. She would open the fridge and bring dad a beer. Oh, here's a dollar for your piggy bank. You know, That's the kind of parenting I was doing. That was the extent of my parenting at the time. Right. Um, today that's not a thought today, were I to see another grown individual do that? I would not bear as much judgment Speaker 7 00:11:30 As I may have if I did not go through that myself. So now my children presently are seven and nine, right? So they're young. So throughout my years of being at the height of my alcoholism, my relationship, more or less stemmed solely on me, what I was projecting onto my children onto them. Now, they obviously were not old enough to say, have a tumultuous relationship with their dad, right. To yelling and screaming and to all the debt hallway level. That stage is a stage for me. That's what I went through, rearing my children in a S in to become future addicts. The voluntarily voluntarily, it already runs in their fucking blood man. You see what I'm saying? So like, my parenting was willingly leading my children into this life that I thought was so normal, so acceptable, right. Willingly. So I guess in a way that relationship changed Speaker 7 00:12:52 Due to my actions, due to the information that, that I was learning and that I came to learn, right. It changed in that way. Like, I was able to be smarter with my children, knowing that they don't have the knowledge I do. So I I'm in a sense guiding. Right. So in the future years, we don't have those ugly altercations yet they will happen. They will happen. It's, it's a part of life. We have to trust the process. Right. But I don't willingly have to do it. I don't willingly have to lead them there. Who does that, man? You know, we do it. We do it every day. I lead people every day. Whether I want to accept that or not, whether it's through a, a phrase, a sentence, a comment, a gesture, I have somehow altered something within their day or within their life. Now I want to ensure that I alter that for the best that I possibly can, you know, avoiding harm, avoiding destruction. So when it comes to my children, I can only be grateful that they weren't old enough for that to really say relationship. No, as far as my adult counterparts, my sisters, brothers, friends that are adults Speaker 7 00:14:18 That change is it's still progressing because it's the life of progress. Right? Nick, Not perfection. Speaker 5 00:14:30 What about your relationship with significant others? Yes. Speaker 7 00:14:33 Yes. Speaker 5 00:14:34 What did that used to look like? Speaker 7 00:14:36 Oh, I'm angry, angry, angry, angry, right? Um, I, you don't mind. I'm uh, when I was younger, my mother used to say, Ron says, you're, you're a passionate boy, All this passion in you, boy, you know? Ah, it's, it's the passion in you? Well, Speaker 7 00:15:00 As, as a young boy at that age, I associated passion with anger because every time I was, I heard it. It was when I was in a state of being riled up. Right. Whether I was out, ah, lashing out at something and it's always was an it kind of a negative connotation. Right. Cause then in a cultural aspect, coming from Guyana. Yeah. You say, you know, you tell someone about their passion, how passionate they are at a time it's usually to calm down. That's, it's a sign until you need to calm down. Right. Aggressive Seoul with my friends and my family members, when I would get that way. Even without alcohol, it's a sense of conviction, whatever I'm doing. Um, it's a sense of my conviction. So when that state of passion hits me, it immediately takes SONDA monacre of anger. Right? So people, instead of hearing the message day will, they will be more, ah, in tuned to the passion. Right. Soul. When, when I realized that through my sponsor, Speaker 7 00:16:13 Through going through the 12 steps of my sponsor, he brought up anger and I it's not until then that, that I learned that I was addicted to my anger as well as I was addicted to alcohol, alcohol got me here. And then right off the bat, I kid you not Nick right off the bat. My, my sponsor pointed that out to me. And he said, and then throughout the process, I learned that I can be addicted to my emotions just as much as I'll all makes me feel 10 feet tall and Bulletproof, when I am angry, It makes me feel the same way because my convictions will be heard and I will be right. And I get what I want because no one can outdrink me. Hence no one can out anger me. Speaker 5 00:17:07 That is some fucked up thing, Speaker 7 00:17:09 Man. Speaker 5 00:17:11 No one ever accused us of not being fucked up Tracking, using or thinking. Speaker 7 00:17:18 Yes. Um, holy moly soul. Um, yes. Once, once his dad got into my relationships with, with, you know, adults, friends, family, um, it was nothing but chaos, Very chaotic. Speaker 5 00:17:35 I have a question. Do you think you would have become an alcoholic if you would have stayed in Guyana? Speaker 7 00:17:43 Yes. Speaker 5 00:17:44 Why? Speaker 7 00:17:49 I love to shit. Right. Plain and simple. And that is, is the first step. Right? Admitting that I'm an alcoholic Speaker 5 00:18:04 What's there. What I want to know is was there enough exposure there with alcohol? The presence of alcohol? Speaker 7 00:18:11 Yes. Okay. Yes, because over there arm drinking is perceived as, and we've heard it hold your liquor. You're not a man, unless you can hold your liquor and it's lived over there. You see? Not saying either or, but all I'm saying is when you're drinking over there, it is, it is a right, right to passage, to adulthood, right. To becoming a man. I am not a man in society. So I should be able to hold my liquor. No one ever teaches you. Well, this is going to happen. This is what it could be. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just, just hold it. And if you can act normal or somewhat like you can stand sturdy. You're a man. What the fuck? Who does that? Who tells anyone that? Right. But people do. It's very real. So yes I would have, I would have become an alcoholic. Speaker 7 00:19:06 Why in my family, drinking is prominent. We have parties, man. It's the Caribbean, right? The weather is nice. Dang near all the time. Even if it's raining, you bald there to do the cool water, to warm water, hitting your body. It's beautiful. Right now you take the euphoria of the islands and a beautiful day and a, and a cold one. It's a match made for us alcoholics. Eh, we drink when times are bad and we drink when times are good. We don't need a spa. Every occasion is special. So coming from that liveliness, that culture of liveliness and, and, and, and just the euphoria of, of having a good time. Someone with the predisposition to alcoholism, it's a wrap. So yes, I would have been, yes. Speaker 5 00:20:02 In AA. We talk a lot about fitness, Spiritual fitness, physical fitness, emotional fitness, mental fitness. Yes. How are you contributing? And this is what I called. Spam, spam fitness. I gotta make acronyms for everything. Speaker 7 00:20:22 Please break that acronym down. Speaker 5 00:20:24 Spiritual, physical, emotional, mental. Speaker 7 00:20:28 Oh man. You're awesome. You're awesome. Speaker 5 00:20:32 I love it. I came up, I came up with that when I was, uh, working with another alcoholic. I was just like, we talk about the, the fitness of those four things, because that's how my brain is able to break shit down. It's like, it's just one thing. So I need to take a look at if I'm like being angry or whatever compulsive it's like. Okay. So one part of my fitness as a human being is being challenged here or is not being used in the proper way. So for me, it breaks down to four different things. Like what is the fitness of my spiritual condition, my physical condition, emotional and mental. What are you doing to contribute to your spiritual fitness today? Let's just worry about today. So what have you done today to keep your spiritual fitness about you? Speaker 7 00:21:32 Right on, right on spam. I love it by the way. Um, and that just before I start on that arm, it's just why I need to raise my hand in them meetings, Nick. All right. This is where it happens. People. This is why I am witnessing this in real life. Just so we know over getting over this fear of sponsoring. So that's all that was, um, w concerning my spiritual fitness just for today. Um, what I did was I, uh, read some scripture, right. And I do a lot of, uh, listening to podcasts. Now, the material that I listened to today are a lot more spiritual based than I used to listen to six years ago, arm. Why? Because of spiritual fitness, like you said, it's a part of my program today. Even more so than it was six years ago. Right? So just for today, I read some scripture and I listened to some spiritual podcast. Speaker 5 00:22:48 You mean you weren't listening to authentic. Speaker 7 00:22:52 I will. Once I leave here, Speaker 5 00:22:53 I don't, I can believe you fucking rude ass. That was a great opportunity. Great opportunity for you to say, Hey, I listened to that show authentic, shout out to the dude right across the table from me. And you decided not to say that. Boom. Okay. Moving on. What'd you do for your physical fitness? Come on. Let's go. Speaker 7 00:23:18 Oh man. Okay. Speaker 5 00:23:20 Well, what have you, what have you done for your physical fitness Speaker 7 00:23:24 Today for just for today, right? Speaker 5 00:23:27 Just for today, today? Speaker 7 00:23:30 Well, I have a little dumbbell, the Ryan dumbbell bar thing in my room that I lift. Right. And I stretch, I believe in stretching, stretching is something that I have come to find comfort in. Right. It releases, it gets, gives me an opportunity to release energies, right? Whether to become, if I'm feeling tense, I just take a few minutes and I stretch all my, incorporate my dumbbell with my stretching, or I have resistance bands that all link up to my door and I'll, I'll do a few quick, you know, Speaker 5 00:24:06 Stretches crunches. I can see you doing it. Speaker 7 00:24:09 Can't you though. Speaker 5 00:24:10 Yes, yes. Killing it Speaker 7 00:24:12 Men because, um, these things, again, Nick are, are parts of my program. They're parts that if I want to be me the way I am today, these are things I have to do. These were things I didn't give two thoughts about six years ago after people say, okay. Yeah, my, my new year resolution is I'm going to get a gym membership, right. Within two months, they fall off. Some may be less, some may be three months. Right. But either way we fall off this thing is I constantly remind myself my spiritual fitness and my physical fitness. Those two, it's a lifelong journey, right? This is not writing a resolution. And then doing my best to keep it. Because if I don't, I'm just a failure at life. No, no, no. I don't wake up every day and work out. I don't wake up every day and read a scripture. Right. But I know if I go six months without reading a scripture, it's going to bug me. And maybe I should crack that book. Right. If I go a year without lifting that dumbbell, well, I'm going to start feeling some type of way. So maybe I should pick it up. There's no need for me to beat myself down into the ground. Right. Because it's a life journey. Right. So Dulce things everyday. And today I did those things just because it's part of my program. Speaker 5 00:25:36 What contributions did you make to your emotional fitness today? Speaker 7 00:25:46 Wow. Emotionally sealed at one stumbled me because emotions are always tricky. You know? And, and to think about in that perspective, Nick, just to say, what did I do today to work on that? It's a whole mind, fuck. In a sense to me, Speaker 5 00:26:02 Then we can just leave that one right? Where it Speaker 7 00:26:03 Is. No, no, no, no. Not saying that. I didn't. Oh, right. Not saying that. I didn't, it's just the idea of knowing, because like we said, some of these ideas are so surreal. You know, we think about them and we're like, wow, I'm actually having these thoughts right now. Holy moly. That's what we're doing right now. My contribution to my emotional fitness, Nick is me being here with you, right? You, you tapping into that side. You, you asking me questions that are, that are forcing me to think about my emotions, me telling you about that passionate story. That's an emotion, anger being associated with, well, today I've contributed in the sense that look, I hope people listening to this can understand that this man here, that's a real struggle for him getting up every day and saying, you know what, Hey, the world, ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Speaker 7 00:26:58 Right. But, but we ain't angry at this moment. We're cool. We're going to go up, make some coffee, get her to go and do a little jig, do a little dance, crank some tunes on, okay. Instead of getting a blindly and just the first thing all wore our pandemic awe mask, the day socks, I caught it before it grew. Right. I was able the awareness of it, right. Me being here and being able to express the fact that growing up as a boy with this sense of passion can be reached channeled to be more of a positive thing and not so associated with the negative connotation of anger. Speaker 5 00:27:46 Well, and that's a Testament to you making contributions to what I like to call my sobriety savings. Right? So I need to make daily deposits into my sobriety savings account. Yes. So, and I always look at it like, how am I, how am I contributing spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, like those are three or excuse me, those are four really easy ones for me to do. So I need to make deposits every day because there will be a time or multiple times during the day where I'm going to have to draw on those contributions that I made. It's like the stretching that you talked about, or the weightlifting, getting those endorphins pumping. And when we move our bodies and this is just talking physical, when we move our bodies, we're happier fucking people. Yes. We just are. And that's a contribution to the sobriety savings. I may have to make a withdrawal because of a little argument or a little situation with a coworker or family or friend, whatever. But there are also going to be times where I am going to have to make a massive fucking withdrawal. A parent dies, a sibling dies. We need to draw on those contributions to our sobriety savings to help us get through it, Speaker 7 00:29:13 Sober, clean. Speaker 5 00:29:16 And I'm not just talking about it in the physical sense, because I have mental relapses every day where I go back to my old way of thinking. Absolutely. And I'm able to catch myself because I have made those contributions. Speaker 7 00:29:30 Yes. Speaker 5 00:29:31 I love the acronym. I'm I'm an acronym machine, bro. Um, one that I've been practicing lately has been PA USC pause, practicing awareness until the spirit emerges. That one's huge for me. That one's, that one's a money shot. Yeah. That's eight ball corner pocket, sync it. Every time it will work. As long as I practice awareness, just be here right now in your body. And then you just got to wait, hold patients. Things are real fucking bitch, but now, uh, see, I just got angry. Okay. How lastly, what, what are you, um, what contributions are you making to your mental fitness today? What did you do today? Speaker 7 00:30:17 Yes. So today, mentally, mentally is just awesome. Who mentally mind. That's all I like to, to look at it for me. Right? Mental mind. When I deal with my mental, I'm dealing with my mind today, I chose to mind my own business right arm. And that's a contribution I do everyday arm. I mind my own business. Now, I guess I can say, well, you know, people say, well, mind your own business. It's such a passing phrase. You know, you're trying to get into a conversation. Someone may be funny or they may be serious manual business either way. No one really actually thinks about that. What this program has done for me, it's opened a part of my mind to be aware, okay, mind my own business, run souls thinking, well, my mind has to be focused, right? What do I have today? I have, I have a few things today. I want to make my morning meeting, which is at seven, right? 2218. For those of us in south side, struggling, looking for somewhere to go 22, 18 7:00 AM. Double zero, baby. Make it Speaker 5 00:31:38 Great squad. Speaker 7 00:31:39 Great squad. Right? Make my meeting. Okay. That's a little bit of focus right now. I'm an overnighter. So I work overnights. Um, I'm up. I'm aware. I got some time. Okay. Well we do. We start preparing. Okay. We prepare, we go to our meeting. What do we do after that? We got groceries to get for the house. Okay. We take care of groceries then what do we got? We got a nap ride because we've been up now since who knows what time at night, it's now pushing noon. We got an interview with Nick, right? For this awesome fucking podcast. Right? Speaker 5 00:32:22 It keeps stroking my ego. It feels real good. Please Speaker 7 00:32:29 Be careful what you ask for Nick. Speaker 0 00:32:31 Yeah, no, no. I will Speaker 5 00:32:37 Continue. That was fucking sarcasm. Speaker 7 00:32:39 I will continue because it's great. Thank you. It's great. Um, I just, I love being here. Does the time we've spent so far, it's it's electric right on, but my mind is focused for this, right? But it started at two this morning, right? It is now nine 10. Right? So focus on my mind for me to have this energy for me to know that I minded my business. Right. I minded that I'm going to need the energy. I'm a need to be focused because what I'm about to say, what's about to come out of my mouth. I'm bought the channel, Speaker 7 00:33:28 But the channel don't work too good. If the mind Dane ain't focused, you ain't usable. Don't even show up because it ain't me. It's greater than me. It's bigger than me. It's, it's waiting for the spirit to show up. It's waiting for the spirit to, to, uh, deliver whatever it is that situation calls for. Right? So if I don't mind my business just to break that down, focus, if I do not focus on my day, Ronsel needs to take a day off. Maybe Ronsel if Ronson cannot focus on, on attaining the goals for his day, maybe Ronsel needs a mental break. Maybe he needs a mental day to sit down and do what he gotta do. Maybe doing nothing is what he needs to do. Because what my sponsor also told me, what's Ron cells doing nothing is doing something Because doing nothing in that time may be the best thing you can do. Instead of going out there with the notion and a gumption of, I have to make a change, I have to do something. And then you'll go on your, make the situation 10 times worse, you know, soul when it comes to mind. And what I did today is to get focused on attaining my goals, my desire, desired goals for the events of the day, which today, this being part of my day, I had to focus for it. Yes. Speaker 5 00:35:12 My favorite question to ask people that I interview is what do you want your legacy as a human being to be? Speaker 6 00:35:24 Yeah. Speaker 7 00:35:33 You know, the, when I come in contact with people, right. That in a sense I leave them better off than I found them Right Now, In a sense, I even have to think about that. Right. And the tell that the people is like, it almost sounds Hottie. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like you're just Hottie individual that just maybe think you're your shit don't stink or some shit, you know what I mean? And, and you walk around holding her then out type of deal, because what you have to offer is so good that wherever that person is, they are now better because they met you. Right. I would like to just make clear, not the case, Not by the stretch of the imagination, not the case. What I mean by debt is Simply the, just, just being grateful for what I have attained. Right. Because if you were to go on social media, the thing that I didn't take so seriously back then when it first came out, because yeah, I'm coming from a world where that never existed. Right? All those pictures and whatever is up online of me having a good I'm a still there, Speaker 7 00:36:55 People can go back and look, My children can go back and look, family, friends, whoever. Right. So what I mean by that is, you know, due to my imperfection, when that person leaves me, they shouldn't feel judged. They shouldn't feel like, Hey, you know, meeting that guy was the worst thing that happened to me today. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know, after, after they meet me or we come in contact with each other Years should be able to go by and my children should be able to meet their children. And, and through conversation somewhere along the line, they're going to hear your dad was a good man. You know, th th th they should here, your dad helped a lot of people, You know, they should hear your dad was filled with this energy, that he could walk into a room and light it up. You know, those are all good things, you know? And, and, and for me to have this, saw This idea that that's what I want my children, Children, not myself, like, like, it's all, we all like compliments. Right? I love walking into a room. Now, let me rephrase that. We all love compliments. Some of us just don't know how to take them. So it's like, it looks and feels awkward. Right. Which is something I also learned. Right. You Speaker 5 00:38:41 Know, don't fucking compliment me. Speaker 7 00:38:43 Don't do it. Speaker 5 00:38:44 That's why I always change the subject. Speaker 7 00:38:46 Yeah. That's why we run. That's why I run. I run as fast as I can, because I have to Speaker 5 00:38:54 Live up Speaker 7 00:38:54 To them. Yes. I have to live up to it, but we should. Right. We should. When, when another individual that doesn't know me gives me a compliment, nice smile. They see that they don't know me, but they ju it's a genuine comment there isn't, there's, it's unbiased. Right. There's nothing leading dent, genuine soul, you know, windows things for me to think about my children in that light, And then incorporate it into, in a sense, yes. Bringing it back to me in the form of a legacy in the form of leaving something behind. Speaker 6 00:39:34 Right. Speaker 7 00:39:36 I guess that's the best way I can answer that question, Nick. Speaker 6 00:39:40 Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 5 00:39:44 Right on. Thank you for the compliment. That hurt. That hurt every single bone in my body to say, thank you. Just know I'm fucking with you. I'm fucking with you. Speaker 7 00:40:01 Yeah. I've gotten Speaker 5 00:40:02 Better at it. Speaker 7 00:40:02 Oh man. We do. To be honest, Nick, I wasn't, I wasn't the best at it. I wasn't, I had to learn how to do it. I had to learn how to do that. Not to learn how to say thank you. I had to learn how to, how to blush acceptably. Right. And I'm a black man. Speaker 5 00:40:21 No, you don't. You don't blush, Speaker 7 00:40:23 But still people say I can see blush because my expression, they can tell. I love the compliment, right? Yeah. Yeah. So based on that, they're like, oh yeah, I can see you're blushing and stop blushing now. Oh, okay. Good. So awkward. But yeah. Speaker 5 00:40:46 All right. Now comes the time in the program where I give you an opportunity to outdo me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to allow you to formulate a sign-off line. Right? My sign-off line is be good to yourselves. It is ever so important. Now that's mine. Wow. I know. Right. Speaker 7 00:41:15 You want me to outdo that? Speaker 5 00:41:17 You gotta try. All right. All right. What do you want your life's sign offline to be Speaker 6 00:41:25 Wow. Speaker 7 00:41:34 Hold from an aim. True. Speaker 5 00:41:38 And as always be good to yourselves. It is ever so important.

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